In the next section you'll take a look at some case studies to dig a little deeper into difficult conversations.
","instruction":"","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"label":"Select the arrow below to continue.","icon":"arrow-right-circle"},"_incomplete":{"label":"Select the arrow below to continue.","icon":"arrow-right-circle"},"_location":"after instruction"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Text Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-11-12T09:57:52.945Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cf08","_component":"links","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cf07","__v":0,"_refId":"59afc4710f090be73644f8dd","instruction":"","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","body":"It's a good idea to download your reflections now and use them to plan the next stage of your self-development journey.
Use the action plan template below to record the activities you're going to undertake.
Good luck with the rest of your difficult conversations learning journey!
That's not quite right; reset and have another go.
","final":"That's not right. While people do need to know where they've gone wrong, the emphasis should be on finding solutions, not discipline.
Dealing with difficult situations as early as possible can 'nip them in the bud' - enabling managers to resolve issues before they become more widespread and serious. It also provides an opportunity to put together a plan of action outlining solutions.
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That's only partly right; reset and have another go.
"},"_correctGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_incorrectFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_incorrectNotFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_partlyCorrectFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_partlyCorrectNotFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"correct":"Yes, that's right. Dealing with difficult situations as early as possible can 'nip them in the bud' - enabling managers to resolve issues before they become more widespread and serious. It also provides an opportunity to put together a plan of action outlining solutions.
"},"_shouldDisplayFeedbackInline":false,"_feedbackInlineStyles":{"_buttonAlignment":"center","_iconAlignment":"center","_bodyTextAlignment":"center","_titleTextAlignment":"center","_isEnabled":false},"_feedbackNavigation":{"_incorrectNotFinal":{"_isEnabled":false},"_incorrect":{"_isEnabled":false},"_partlyCorrectNotFinal":{"_isEnabled":false},"_partlyCorrect":{"_isEnabled":false},"_correct":{"_isEnabled":false}},"_items":[{"text":"It prevents problems festering: neglected issues can cause problems in the team.","_id":"59ad688f0f090be73644f867","itemIndex":0,"_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":true},{"text":"It stops things from escalating: dealing with issues early will stop them getting worse.","_id":"59ad68920f090be73644f868","itemIndex":1,"_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":true},{"text":"It gives you a chance to work together to find a solution to the problem.","_id":"59ad68950f090be73644f869","itemIndex":2,"_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":true},{"text":"It enables you to confront the person concerned with the errors they have made and discipline them.","_id":"59ad68980f090be73644f86a","itemIndex":3,"_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":false}],"_questionGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldUseQuestionGraphic":false,"_itemsPerRow":{"mobile":1,"tablet":2,"desktop":2},"_canAutoSubmit":false,"_shouldShowDisplayTitleInFeedback":true,"_shouldUseIndividualItemFeedback":false,"_useCustomItemPrefix":false,"_selectable":4,"_isRandom":true,"_shouldDisplayAttempts":false,"_attempts":1,"_useQuestionBank":false,"_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"label":"Select all that apply from the options below.","icon":"finger-tap"},"_incomplete":{"label":"Select all that apply from the options below.","icon":"finger-tap"},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"MCQ1 - General benefits","_isQuestionType":true,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-05-25T15:22:54.888Z","_updatedBy":"599fe39e0f59f2cd39837a48"},{"_id":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce64","_component":"mcq","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce63","__v":0,"body":"","instruction":"2. What benefits are there for the individuals concerned in having a difficult conversation? ","_refId":"59ad69ac0f090be73644f86f","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":true},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_feedback":{"_shouldUseGlobalCorrectFeedback":false,"_incorrect":{"_shouldUseGlobalIncorrectFeedback":false,"notFinal":"That's not quite right; reset and have another go.
","final":"That's not right. While firing someone may not be easy, it is not the kind of conversation that should be happening at this stage. If it is then it should have occurred much earlier! Prevention, as they say, is better than cure...
It's vital to understand the context to problems if they are to be resolved. A clear support plan can then be drawn up, outlining how the other person will be helped to improve. This will help ensure they don't feel alone or singled out for criticism.
"},"_partlyCorrect":{"_shouldUseGlobalPartlyCorrectFeedback":false,"final":"That's partly right. It's vital to understand the context to problems if they are to be resolved. A clear support plan can then be drawn up, outlining how the other person will be helped to improve. This will help ensure they don't feel alone or singled out for criticism.
","notFinal":"That's partly right; reset and have another go.
"},"_correctGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_incorrectFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_incorrectNotFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_partlyCorrectFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"_partlyCorrectNotFinalGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"_position":"right"},"correct":"Yes, that's right. It's vital to understand the context to problems if they are to be resolved. A clear support plan can then be drawn up, outlining how the other person will be helped to improve. This will help ensure they don't feel alone or singled out for criticism.
"},"_shouldDisplayFeedbackInline":false,"_feedbackInlineStyles":{"_buttonAlignment":"center","_iconAlignment":"center","_bodyTextAlignment":"center","_titleTextAlignment":"center","_isEnabled":false},"_feedbackNavigation":{"_incorrectNotFinal":{"_isEnabled":false},"_incorrect":{"_isEnabled":false},"_partlyCorrectNotFinal":{"_isEnabled":false},"_partlyCorrect":{"_isEnabled":false},"_correct":{"_isEnabled":false}},"_items":[{"itemIndex":0,"_id":"59ad688f0f090be73644f867","text":"While having the conversation, you may find out about other issues you were unaware of and deal with them too. ","_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":true},{"itemIndex":1,"_id":"59ad68950f090be73644f869","text":"Conducted well, a difficult conversation can help the other person feel supported rather than judged or criticised.","_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":true},{"itemIndex":2,"_id":"59ad68920f090be73644f868","text":"If a warning about behaviour is needed, the conversation provides an opportunity to cushion it with offers of help where needed.","_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":true},{"itemIndex":3,"_id":"59ad68980f090be73644f86a","text":"When matters are beyond repair, difficult conversations are when you can explain to someone why they are being fired.","_feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldBeSelected":false}],"_questionGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldUseQuestionGraphic":false,"_itemsPerRow":{"mobile":1,"tablet":2,"desktop":2},"_canAutoSubmit":false,"_shouldShowDisplayTitleInFeedback":true,"_shouldUseIndividualItemFeedback":false,"_useCustomItemPrefix":false,"_selectable":4,"_isRandom":true,"_shouldDisplayAttempts":false,"_attempts":1,"_useQuestionBank":false,"_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"label":"Select all that apply from the options below.","icon":"finger-tap"},"_incomplete":{"icon":"finger-tap","label":"Select all that apply from the options below."},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"MCQ2 - Individual Benefits","_isQuestionType":true,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-05-25T15:22:56.202Z","_updatedBy":"599fe39e0f59f2cd39837a48"},{"_id":"5c8029ed94aab5403215cedb","_component":"openInput","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ed94aab5403215ceda","__v":0,"_refId":"59aec1970f090be73644f8ae","instruction":"Before you hear what Anna Daptor has to say, what advice would you give Derek?","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","feedbackMessage":"Thanks for noting down your advice for Derek.
Listen to the rest of the show to see how it compares with Anna Daptor's.
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","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_items":[{"title":"Prepare well but keep an open mind ","_id":"59ad6cbe0f090be73644f873","itemIndex":0,"body":"It's important to know all the facts and plan well. But you also need to expect the unexpected. New information can often come to light in difficult conversations that give a new perspective on the situation. Taking it into account can lead to different, often better, solutions.
","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Give some thought to how to how you structure the conversation. For example, if there’s negative feedback to give, you could make some positive observations first. This will set the other person at ease and start things off on a less defensive note.
","itemIndex":1,"_id":"59ad6ca60f090be73644f872","title":"Frame the discussion constructively","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Difficult conversations are always going to be around sensitive issues and people may get upset. It's important to keep your own emotions in check and have strategies for responding to anger, shock, blame and resistance.
","itemIndex":2,"_id":"59ad6cc50f090be73644f874","title":"Manage emotional reactions well","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"title":"Define the solution together","_id":"59ad6ccb0f090be73644f875","itemIndex":3,"body":"Draw up a plan of action with the other person to ensure they are invested in it. Clearly define exactly what steps will be taken to improve things. This could include training, shadowing a colleague or more frequent check-ins with their line manager. It may also be appropriate to look at changing their role or responsibilities.
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Stayed objective - she stuck to the facts about Alfie's lateness. She didn't discuss her opinion of him or criticise him personally.
Provided clear evidence of the negative impact his conduct was having on other team members and the company's reputation.
Showed empathy for his situation. She listened properly and managed his anger well. This enabled him to calm down and be open about what was troubling him.
Didn't get drawn into discussing his blame of others. By avoiding that topic, she stopped him saying something in anger that he may have regretted later.
Drew the conversation to a positive conclusion with a clear agreement on how to solve the problem for all.
What made Hope's handling of the difficult conversation so effective?","_refId":"59ae82560f090be73644f886","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_minimumHeight":150,"_hasMinimumHeight":true,"_isAssignable":true,"feedbackGraphic":{"_position":"right","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_shouldDisplayFeedbackInline":false,"_shouldShowDisplayTitleInFeedback":true,"_canShowFeedback":true,"_clearButton":"Clear","_saveSuccessMessage":"Saved","_saveButton":"View Our Thoughts","_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"icon":"pencil2","label":"Type your thoughts in the space provided. "},"_incomplete":{"icon":"pencil2","label":"Type your response in the space provided. "},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Linked reflection component","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-01-22T13:47:33.349Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ed94aab5403215ceea","_component":"text","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ed94aab5403215cee9","__v":0,"body":"
In the next and final section you'll find some useful resources to help you continue developing your difficult conversations skills and practice.
","instruction":"","_refId":"59afc0c00f090be73644f8c2","_classes":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_interactionLabel":{"_location":"after instruction","_incomplete":{"icon":"arrow-right-circle","label":"Select the arrow below to continue."},"_complete":{"icon":"arrow-right-circle","label":"Select the arrow below to continue."}},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Text Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-11-12T09:58:43.055Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cf00","_component":"links","_layout":"right","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ee94aab5403215ceff","__v":0,"body":"We've seen that preparation is key to difficult conversations going smoothly. This template can help you with that preparation. Use it to think about what you need to get across, how the other person might react and what the likely outcomes are.
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Part of building any relationship is talking through disagreements. Having difficult conversations when needed helps build strong teams and an organisation where people thrive.
","notFinal":"That's not right; reset and have another go.
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","final":"That's only partly right. Part of building any relationship is talking through disagreements. Having difficult conversations when needed helps build strong teams and an organisation where people thrive.
Yes, that's right. Part of building any relationship is talking through disagreements. Having difficult conversations when needed helps build strong teams and an organisation where people thrive.
Hope (internal): He's late again! No wonder his team are complaining. It's time we had a meeting about this.
Hope: Alfie, we need to talk about your lateness in the mornings. You've been missing calls and meetings. I've received complaints from some of your colleagues. It's also starting to affect our reputation with some of our partners.
Alfie: Look, I'm doing my best OK? I'm dealing with a difficult situation at the moment. Anyway I know who's complaining, they've had it in for me for ages!
Hope: You mentioned a difficult situation - is that at home or work? Is everything okay?
Alfie: It's my mother, she's just had a major operation and can't care for herself. I've been visiting her every morning.
Hope: And that's why you've been late?
Alfie: Yes, I make her breakfast and get her set for the day. It always takes longer than it should though. I didn't want to say anything as I... I really need this job...
Hope: I'm sorry about your mother. Of course you need to take care of her. Listen, how about we make a temporary change to your working hours to allow you to drop in on her? We could also look into making the team meetings later in the day, if that would help?
Alfie: Really?! That would be great! Thanks so much Hope. It will only be for a few more weeks, until she's back on her feet.
Alfie (internal): What a relief! I didn't think of asking for some flexibility.
Hope (internal): I had a feeling something was going on, he was fine until a month ago. I'm glad we had this conversation.
","button":"Transcript","_shouldNotDisplayTitleInPopup":false,"_shouldOpenTranscriptInPopup":false},"_audio":{"ariaLabel":"","_buttonText":"AD","_isEnabled":false},"_media":{"poster":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5d2cd95f0b2f6265fec76b71"},"_shouldHidePlayButton":false,"_shouldHidePlayerControls":false,"_shouldAutoPlay":false,"mobileMp4":{"_id":"5cdd6635745a2e2eda305190","_extension":"mp4","_type":"video"},"mp4":{"_type":"video","_extension":"mp4","_id":"5cdd662f745a2e2eda30518f"},"_isExternalLink":false},"_setCompletionOn":"play","_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"label":"Select the play button to begin.","icon":"clapboard-play"},"_incomplete":{"label":"Select the play button to begin.","icon":"clapboard-play"},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Media Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-05-25T15:21:40.024Z","_updatedBy":"599fe39e0f59f2cd39837a48"},{"_id":"5c8029ec94aab5403215ce88","_component":"tabs","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ec94aab5403215ce87","__v":0,"_refId":"59ae9abe0f090be73644f888","instruction":"As you read through the techniques, think about similar situations you've been in. Consider how you could have used the advice given to positively influence the conversation.","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_animations":{"_easing":"default","_scaleIn":{"_from":50,"_isEnabled":false},"_fadeIn":{"_from":0,"_isEnabled":true},"_slideInY":{"_from":50,"_isReverseDirection":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_slideInX":{"_from":50,"_isReverseDirection":false,"_isEnabled":false}},"_items":[{"title":"Use the Observation, Feeling, Need model to structure a difficult conversation","tabText":"Separating feelings and facts","_id":"59ae9adf0f090be73644f889","itemIndex":0,"body":"Sometimes it's hard to separate the facts of a situation from your feelings about it. This can be heightened if - for example - you feel particularly daunted by or nervous about a particular conversation, if you are personally invested in the issue, or if there is a personality clash with the other person. Here's an example of how the Observation, Feeling, Need model can help you separate feelings from facts.
Many difficult conversations involve giving news that's not easy to hear. The other person may get upset or angry with you, or blame others - you need to be able to respond sensitively and constructively. Here are some examples of the kind of approach to adopt in such situations.
If someone is under-performing, there may be an opportunity to help them grow through training or other development activities. Recognise that they might become defensive if under-performance is mentioned, and reassure them that you want to help address it. Here are some examples.
Avoid direct criticism
Nobody likes being told they were wrong, so when you have to criticise try to focus on the behaviour, not the person. For example, talk about 'the' rather than 'your' missed deadlines having a serious impact.'
You should also use 'we' in place of 'you'; for example, 'We need to understand why the deadline was missed.' This avoids placing all the blame on their shoulders and implies they will be supported in rectifying matters.
Finally, try to not to speak in absolutes - avoid words like 'always' and 'never'. For example, instead of saying "your reports always have errors," say "your reports often have errors." This makes the criticism easier to take as it's implying you know they're capable of good work.
","_id":"57822ea741b6a53e2f346867","itemIndex":0,"title":"","_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cac6233e4d12172a7412be0","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}}},{"title":"","text":"Don't talk too much
It's frustrating when someone dominates a discussion and doesn't let you get a word in edgeways. Difficult conversations are no different - monopolising the conversation will hinder you in building a rapport, gaining the trust of the other person and reaching the best outcome.
Break down what you want to say into separate points so the other person will be able to understand and respond to each one. Let the conversation flow naturally so they can relax and say what they feel. Make sure you listen properly when they speak. Don't worry about having short silences while you consider what to say, it's better to pause than to waffle!
You also need to ensure the other person doesn't talk too much. Sometimes you may need to interrupt them to avoid them going off on a tangent. Don't be afraid to do this when needed. Be polite but firm, for example, "Sorry to interrupt, could we clarify the point you mentioned before?"
","itemIndex":1,"_id":"57822ea541b6a53e2f346866","_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5cac623fe4d12172a7412be1"}}},{"text":"Check for understanding
It's important to make sure you are both clear about what the other is saying. Ask open questions that require more than a yes/no answer to ensure you've been understood, for example, "What do you think about that?", rather than "do you agree?"
You also need to demonstrate you understand what they have said. This can be done by reflecting: repeating or paraphrasing their words back to them. Don't assume you've understood correctly even if you've listened well. In difficult conversations people often need time to make themselves clear.
Use verbal modelling
People are naturally drawn to others like themselves. This is why many of your friends share common interests. You can make use of this in difficult conversations by matching people’s voice tone and modulation in order to build the relationship: if they are speaking softly, speak softly. If they are speaking slowly, talk slowly. As with any technique, however, you must use this one wisely: you don't want to appear to be mimicking or mocking them. You also need to ensure you don't end up adopting a tone or style that is counterproductive to what you're trying to achieve. For example, it wouldn't be useful to match someone's anger or irritation with your own.
","_id":"57822eaa41b6a53e2f346869","itemIndex":3,"_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cac6272e4d12172a7412be4","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}}},{"title":"","text":"Use the right tone of voice
Tone of voice is a key aspect of verbal communication but an often-overlooked one. Your tone works either with or against your words to convey a message to the other person. For instance, delivering a warning about inappropriate behaviour in a cheery, friendly tone sends a confusing message.
In difficult conversations it's beneficial to avoid ambiguous statements like "it could be said that..." or "some people are of the opinion that..." A confident, assertive tone might often be the right one - but be wary of it becoming an arrogant tone of voice.
It's hard sometimes to judge this one, so practice on a colleague beforehand if you're not sure and ask them how you're coming across.
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","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_items":[{"title":"Verbal communication","_id":"59ad6ca60f090be73644f872","itemIndex":0,"body":"Choose your words carefully: don't be too critical and make your points clearly and confidently. Be aware of your tone of voice and alter it as needed to help build a rapport with the other person.
","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Focus on the other person and their feelings, not yourself. Withhold judgement until you've got the whole picture. Listen properly when they speak and acknowledge their emotions without getting swayed by them.
","itemIndex":1,"_id":"59ad6cbe0f090be73644f873","title":"Empathy","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"title":"Questioning","_id":"59ad6cc50f090be73644f874","itemIndex":2,"body":"Use open questions to help the other person express their feelings. Ask probing and reflective questions to encourage them to focus in on important points. Try to avoid questions that imply judgement or criticism; also be careful not to ask leading questions that may put words into their mouth.
","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Show the other person you are fully focused on them by subtly mirroring their movements. Maintain good eye contact and an open posture to show interest in what they have to say. Read their facial expressions and gestures to get a deeper understanding of what they're feeling and thinking.
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Anna Daptor: Hello there, lovely listeners. It's me Anna Daptor, 101 FM’s resident fixer of your management problems. Today, our hot topic is difficult conversations. We may not want to, but sometimes we have to have them! How can we ensure we manage them well to get the best outcomes for all? We're going straight to your calls, so who do we have on Line one?
Derek: Hi Anna, my name's Derek. I could really do with your help. I need to speak to someone in my team about an issue, and I'm dreading it! It would be great if you could give some advice on how to handle it.
Anna Daptor: Hi Derek, thanks for calling in! Don't worry, I'm sure we can come up with some nuggets of wisdom for you! Tell me more about the difficult conversation you need to have.
Derek: Well, I work for an engineering company and have been asked to lead the team on a new project. I've received bad feedback about one of my team members. Some of the key stakeholders we'll be working with have said he was often late hitting deadlines last time they collaborated.
Anna Daptor: That's a tricky situation for sure! Stay with us, Derek, we’re going to take a short break for the news and weather, then we’ll be right back with some great advice to help you prepare. Listeners, this is your opportunity to get involved. If you have any suggestions for Derek why not text or tweet in your thoughts now?
","button":"Transcript"},"_audio":{"ariaLabel":"This button will play an audio description of the video","_buttonText":"AD","_isEnabled":false},"_media":{"_isExternalLink":false,"mp4":{"_type":"video","_extension":"mp4","_id":"5cfeaab0745a2e2eda3079f4"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false,"_shouldHidePlayerControls":false,"_shouldHidePlayButton":false},"_setCompletionOn":"play","_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"icon":"volume","label":"Select the play button to listen to the show."},"_incomplete":{"label":"Select the play button to listen to the show.","icon":"volume"},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Difficult Conversation Advice","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-05-25T15:23:14.457Z","_updatedBy":"599fe39e0f59f2cd39837a48"},{"_id":"5c8029ec94aab5403215cea7","_component":"confidenceSlider","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ec94aab5403215cea6","__v":0,"_refId":"59aea3430f090be73644f895","instruction":"Based on the above, how good do you think your verbal communication skills are?","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_feedbackItems":[{"_id":"59aea3ad0f090be73644f896","itemIndex":0,"feedback":"Don't panic! Your confidence will improve with practice. Try using the ideas above in a role play with a colleague. Ask them to feedback specifically on your use of verbal communication techniques.
","_range":{"_max":3,"_min":0}},{"feedback":"Keep practising the techniques suggested above to boost your confidence and develop your abilities further. It may help to role play with a colleague and get their feedback.
","_id":"59aea3b70f090be73644f897","itemIndex":1,"_range":{"_max":7,"_min":4}},{"feedback":"It's great that you're confident! Keep practising to really hone your skills. Try using the skills in a role play with a colleague and ask them to give you feedback.
","itemIndex":2,"_id":"59aea3c10f090be73644f898","_range":{"_max":10,"_min":8}}],"_shouldDisplayFeedbackInline":false,"_shouldShowDisplayTitleInFeedback":true,"_hideFeedbackIcon":false,"_labels":{"_selected":"Selected","_max":"Highly confident","_min":"Not confident"},"_step":1,"_range":{"_max":10,"_min":0},"_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"icon":"graph","label":"Indicate your current confidence level using the slider below."},"_incomplete":{"icon":"graph","label":"Indicate your current confidence or skill level using the slider below."},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Confidence Slider 1","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-01-22T13:49:11.742Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ec94aab5403215ceac","_component":"confidenceSlider","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ec94aab5403215ceab","__v":0,"instruction":"Having seen these tips, how confident do you feel in your ability to empathise?","_refId":"59aeab4c0f090be73644f89a","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_feedbackItems":[{"_id":"59aea3ad0f090be73644f896","itemIndex":0,"feedback":"If you're not very confident right now, try using the techniques suggested above in a role play with a colleague. Ask them to feedback specifically on your use of empathy. Your confidence will improve with practice!
","_range":{"_max":3,"_min":0}},{"feedback":"It's good you feel reasonably confident already; keep practising the techniques discussed to boost your confidence and abilities further. It may help to role play with a colleague and get their feedback.
","_id":"59aea3b70f090be73644f897","itemIndex":1,"_range":{"_max":7,"_min":4}},{"feedback":"Great! Keep that confidence high and those skills honed by continuing to practise. Try using the skills in a role play with a colleague and ask them to give you feedback.
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","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Ask a colleague to help you role play parts of the conversation you anticipate may be difficult. Talk to any people you want to bring to the meeting, like HR. Doing this as early as possible will also give them a chance to prepare and ask any questions they may have.
","itemIndex":2,"_id":"59ad6cc50f090be73644f874","title":"Preparation","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"title":"Flexibility","_id":"59ad6ccb0f090be73644f875","itemIndex":3,"body":"While you need to have clear evidence and observations to discuss, it's important to be prepared for the unexpected in difficult conversations. Be open to formulating a plan based on what arises with the other person.
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Or why the work due has had such a delay
Sometimes under-performance must be addressed
Or broken agreements that created a mess
The key to the talk is to plan and prepare
To ensure everyone feels proceedings are fair
Discard empty rumours; don’t believe all you hear
Gather up all the facts so that everything’s clear
Try to build up a picture of the person concerned
Does their behaviour fit in with what you have learned?
If emotions run high you must try to stay cool
An angry manager can look like a fool!
Think about resolutions before you begin
Do outcomes exist in which everyone wins?
If you're anxious, relax! Look beyond short term pain
Difficult conversations deliver long term gain
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Adopting an open posture shows the other person you're ready to listen. Face them properly and lean forward a little to show your interest in what they have to say.
Try to avoid slouching back in your chair or folding your arms, especially when the other person is talking. The former gives the impression you don't care about what they are saying, while the latter makes you seem closed and defensive.
","itemIndex":1,"_id":"59ae7cf90f090be73644f87c","title":"Open posture","_graphicTextStyles":{"_mobile":{"_fontColor":"transparent"},"_tablet":{"_fontColor":"transparent"},"_desktop":{"_fontColor":"transparent"}},"_graphicTextRightPadding":0,"_graphicTextLeftPadding":0,"_graphicTextBottomPadding":0,"_graphicTextTopPadding":0,"_graphicTextWidth":100,"_graphicTextLayout":"top","_shouldEnableGraphicText":false,"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5cfa79a6745a2e2eda3076f9"}}},{"title":"Eye contact","body":"Maintaining a good level of eye contact with the other person is a powerful way to show you're focused on the issues being discussed.
If your eyes drift around a lot it will seem you're not interested in what they're saying; there's a risk they'll simply stop sharing and you'll miss out on important information.
Do make sure, however, that you look away occasionally - maintaining eye contact for more than around 70% of the time is staring!
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You could then ask an open, reflective or probing question to clarify what they really feel. Here are some examples of how you could use facial expressions to inform your handling of a difficult conversation.
Gestures are communicators that we all use and may be voluntary or involuntary. As mentioned before, crossed arms are a sign of being closed to what the other person is saying. They can also signify insecurity or a lack of confidence.
A person's hands can tell you a great deal about how they are feeling: if they're relaxed that signifies self-assurance, if clenched they could be stressed or angry. When people wring their hands it usually means they are anxious.
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Ready to begin?
","_id":"59afba870f090be73644f8b6","_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":382,"x":8},"_options":[{"_itemId":"59afbb6d0f090be73644f8b8","_id":"5ab143bd4bab067452d61a5f","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Let's get going!"}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":0,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":true,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_id":"5ab26e524bab067452d61a64","_extension":"gif","_type":"image"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa81b2745a2e2eda307710","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":1,"body":"It's Monday and Holly has requested to speak to Steve as soon as possible; she is visibly upset, as a number of people have noticed. The Section Head has also asked Steve to set up the meeting soon, to get things resolved quickly.
Steve trusts his Section Head's decisions, so he's not aware of the details of why Holly wasn't given the promotion, or why she disagrees with the decision.
","_id":"59afbb6d0f090be73644f8b8","instruction":"Steve only has the three times below free, which one should he choose for the meeting?","_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":348,"x":317},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aea2cc4de72f26ef7fc801b","_id":"59afbb9d0f090be73644f8b9","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":10,"optionText":"This Friday - it will allow him time to prepare properly and hopefully end the week on a good note."},{"_itemId":"5aaba1501fc6266e6f05ca6e","_id":"59afbbad0f090be73644f8ba","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":5,"optionText":"Next Monday - Steve's very busy this week and could do with the weekend to prepare."},{"_id":"59afbbb80f090be73644f8bb","_itemId":"5aea2cbade72f26ef7fc801a","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Tomorrow - the sooner the meeting takes place the better for all."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":5,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":true,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa81bf745a2e2eda307711","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"_id":"5aaac21f1fc6266e6f05ca43","body":"Now the time has been fixed, Steve needs to decide where the meeting will take place. The Head of HR has offered to attend, but said it's up to Steve whether he does or not. Holly will be notified of the venue and who will be attending.
","itemIndex":2,"instruction":"Which option should he choose for the meeting?","_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":374.10699462890625,"x":1006.4510192871094},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aaac2271fc6266e6f05ca44","_id":"5aaac25e1fc6266e6f05ca48","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":10,"optionText":" A meeting room, with HR present. "},{"_id":"5aaac2601fc6266e6f05ca49","_itemId":"5aaac22e1fc6266e6f05ca45","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":5,"optionText":"The cafeteria at a quiet time, with HR present."},{"_itemId":"5aaac2321fc6266e6f05ca46","_id":"5aaac2611fc6266e6f05ca4a","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"His office, with no HR but his PA there to take minutes."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":20,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":true,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa81f7745a2e2eda307717","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"_id":"5aaac2271fc6266e6f05ca44","body":"Holly's reaction: "I'm happy the meeting is going to be in the meeting room - I'd be starting off on the back foot if we met in his office. I'm not sure how I feel about HR attending, though. I hope they won't be against me."
Steve has made an excellent decision to host the meeting in the meeting room. It's important to have difficult conversations in neutral places, if possible, to ensure people don't feel intimidated.
He has made the right choice by asking HR to attend the meeting: while Holly's fears are not uncommon, the reality is HR are trained in remaining objective and dealing with these situations. Their presence will also make things more formal, which can help keep people calm.
","itemIndex":3,"instruction":"","_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":245,"x":1580},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aaac3d11fc6266e6f05ca4b","_id":"5aababf81fc6266e6f05ca74","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Book in the meeting, then start to prepare."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":30,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8201745a2e2eda307718","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","_id":"5aaac22e1fc6266e6f05ca45","body":"Holly's reaction: "I''m happy we're not going to meet in Steve's office, as I'd feel a bit uncomfortable. A neutral setting is better, although I'd have preferred somewhere less public, like the meeting room. I'm not sure how I feel about HR attending; I hope they won't be against me."
It's important to consider the place a meeting is held for difficult conversations - environments that feel oppressive in some way will only make people stressed. Designated meeting rooms are ideal locations - the cafeteria is too informal and public.
Steve should have taken HR up on their offer to attend. Despite Holly's fears, they would have brought a formal objectivity to the meeting. They are trained in dealing with situations like this and could have been a great help.
","itemIndex":4,"_editorColor":"#F1C40F","_editorPosition":{"y":411,"x":1592},"_options":[{"_id":"5aabb0381fc6266e6f05ca7b","_itemId":"5aaac3d11fc6266e6f05ca4b","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Book in the meeting, then start to prepare."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":30,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8210745a2e2eda307719","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","_id":"5aaac2321fc6266e6f05ca46","body":"Holly's reaction: "I don't feel happy about meeting in Steve's office - I'd rather meet somewhere more neutral, like the training suite. I'm also not pleased that his PA will be there - I'd prefer HR to be honest, at least they'll be more objective."
It's important to consider the place a meeting is held for difficult conversations - environments that feel oppressive in some way will only make people feel more stressed. Meeting rooms are ideal locations as they are 'neutral territory.'
Steve should have taken HR up on their offer to attend - they left it up to him as it's not compulsory for them to be at this kind of a meeting, but they are trained in dealing with situations like this and Steve should make use of their expertise.
","itemIndex":5,"_editorColor":"#E74C3C","_editorPosition":{"y":587,"x":1594},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aaac3d11fc6266e6f05ca4b","_id":"5aabb1fa1fc6266e6f05ca7e","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Book in the meeting, then start to prepare."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":30,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa821b745a2e2eda30771a","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"What should Steve do?","_id":"5aaac3d11fc6266e6f05ca4b","body":"Steve starts planning the meeting by looking into Holly's employment history with the company - she's been there for four years. He sees that she was rejected for a promotion around six months ago, by the same Section Head she works under now.
","itemIndex":6,"_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":372,"x":2144},"_options":[{"_id":"5aab8d811fc6266e6f05ca52","_itemId":"5aaac40f1fc6266e6f05ca4c","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":10,"optionText":"Ask the Section Head to meet him briefly tomorrow to discuss the whole situation. "},{"_itemId":"5aaac4131fc6266e6f05ca4d","_id":"5aab8d821fc6266e6f05ca53","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":5,"optionText":"Email the Section Head asking him to state his reasons for rejecting Holly for promotion six months ago."},{"_id":"5aab8d831fc6266e6f05ca54","_itemId":"5aaac4161fc6266e6f05ca4e","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Not contact the Section Head yet, but do so after the meeting with Holly."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":40,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":true,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa822b745a2e2eda30771b","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":7,"body":"The Section Head's reaction: "I appreciate Steve wanting to talk to me about Holly. I accept she works hard but I stand by my promotion decisions and am quite willing to justify them."
A good manager needs to know when a face-to-face discussion is needed and when an email will do. This is a delicate situation and taking the time to meet the Section Head will make him feel more secure about Holly's complaint.
Contacting the Section Head prior to the meeting with Holly will reassure him that everything is being dealt with fairly. Getting his reasons why Holly was passed up twice for promotion will also help him prepare for the the meeting.
","_id":"5aaac40f1fc6266e6f05ca4c","instruction":"","_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":286,"x":2874},"_options":[{"_id":"5aabc5401fc6266e6f05ca89","_itemId":"5aab8f1a1fc6266e6f05ca55","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Skip to Friday and the meeting with Holly."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":50,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8237745a2e2eda30771c","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":8,"body":"The Section Head's reaction: "I'm glad Steve contacted me about Holly, but I'd rather speak to him about it in person. I'm a bit concerned that anything I write may be used against me."
A good manager needs to know when a face-to-face discussion is needed and when an email will do. This is a delicate situation and taking the time to meet the Section Head would have made him feel more secure about Holly's complaint.
Contacting the Section Head prior to the meeting with Holly will reassure him that everything is being dealt with fairly. Getting his reasons why Holly was passed up twice for promotion will also help him prepare for the the meeting.
","_id":"5aaac4131fc6266e6f05ca4d","instruction":"","_editorColor":"#F1C40F","_editorPosition":{"y":441,"x":2878},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aab8f1a1fc6266e6f05ca55","_id":"5aabc87c1fc6266e6f05ca8e","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Skip to Friday and the meeting with Holly."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":50,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8247745a2e2eda30771d","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":9,"body":"The Section Head's reaction: "I know Steve will have some questions for me about Holly, especially if he sees I rejected her previous promotion application. Why doesn't he contact me? Has he already decided Holly is justified in her complaint?"
Steve should be aware that his Section Head is feeling insecure at this point; contacting him prior to the meeting with Holly would reassure him that everything is being dealt with fairly. Getting the Section Head's reasons for why Holly was passed up twice for promotion will also help him prepare for the the meeting.
","_id":"5aaac4161fc6266e6f05ca4e","instruction":"","_editorColor":"#E74C3C","_editorPosition":{"y":590,"x":2853},"_options":[{"_id":"5aabc74c1fc6266e6f05ca8c","_itemId":"5aab8f1a1fc6266e6f05ca55","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Skip to Friday and the meeting with Holly."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":50,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8255745a2e2eda30771e","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"How should Steve begin his questioning?","itemIndex":10,"body":"The meeting starts with Holly making an impassioned speech on why she deserved the promotion. She says she believes it is because the Section Head doesn't like her. Steve lets her finish, then asks her some questions based on the facts he has gathered: he has seen that she rarely hit her targets in the last year, which is the main reason she hasn't been promoted.
","_id":"5aab8f1a1fc6266e6f05ca55","_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":372,"x":3428},"_options":[{"_id":"5aab8f421fc6266e6f05ca59","_itemId":"5aab8f201fc6266e6f05ca56","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":10,"optionText":"\"I understand how you're feeling and appreciate you really wanted the promotion. How have things been going recently?\""},{"_itemId":"5aab8f231fc6266e6f05ca57","_id":"5aab8f431fc6266e6f05ca5a","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":5,"optionText":"\"I'm sorry you didn't get the promotion and do value your work. Let's talk about your performance targets.\""},{"_id":"5aab8f451fc6266e6f05ca5b","_itemId":"5aab8f281fc6266e6f05ca58","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"\"I appreciate you feel the decision was wrong, but you haven't been hitting your performance targets.\""}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":60,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":true,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8261745a2e2eda30771f","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","_id":"5aab8f201fc6266e6f05ca56","body":"Holly's reaction: "I'm glad Steve recognises I work hard and am keen to get on. I was worried he would just want to talk about performance targets, so feel less tense now he is simply asking how I am."
Steve is making a good start to this; by empathising with Holly's feelings, he immediately makes the conversation less confrontational. He can then start to ask questions to probe her understanding of why she didn't get the promotion.
Simply asking someone how they are is an excellent way to allay their fears and get them to open up. 'Cutting to the chase' may save time, but it is not always the best way to approach situations where emotions are running high.
","itemIndex":11,"_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":202,"x":4022},"_options":[{"_id":"5aabcbba1fc6266e6f05ca91","_itemId":"5aab90291fc6266e6f05ca5c","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Carry on with the meeting."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":70,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa826b745a2e2eda307720","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"_id":"5aab8f231fc6266e6f05ca57","body":"Holly's reaction: "I'm glad Steve recognises I work hard and am keen to get on. I knew he would want to talk about my targets, but was hoping it wouldn't be straight away."
Steve starts well: by sympathising with Holly's feelings, and saying her work is appreciated he immediately makes the conversation less confrontational. His decision, however, to bring up her targets straight away has made the atmosphere tense - he could have approached the topic more subtly by starting with more general questions.
Simply asking someone how they are is an excellent way to allay their fears and get them to open up. 'Cutting to the chase' may save time, but it is not always the best way to approach situations where emotions are running high.
","itemIndex":12,"instruction":"","_editorColor":"#F1C40F","_editorPosition":{"y":379,"x":4016},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aab90291fc6266e6f05ca5c","_id":"5aabd7c51fc6266e6f05ca95","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Carry on with the meeting."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":70,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8276745a2e2eda307721","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","_id":"5aab8f281fc6266e6f05ca58","body":"Holly's reaction: "I'm upset that's all he has to say after all I've just said. I feel like he doesn't really value my work here and only cares about whether I've been hitting my performance targets. I know I haven't been hitting them consistently but I've been here four years now."
Steve hasn't started this well: his recognition of Holly's feelings at not getting the job seems insincere when immediately followed by his sharp statement about her targets. He is coming across as a cold, rather distant manager who only cares about performance data. The atmosphere is now tense.
He could have started by stating his appreciation for the work Holly has done over the years, which would have made her feel valued and more relaxed.
Simply asking someone how they are is an excellent way to allay their fears and get them to open up. 'Cutting to the chase' may save time, but it is not always the best way to approach situations where emotions are running high.
","itemIndex":13,"_editorColor":"#E74C3C","_editorPosition":{"y":583,"x":4015},"_options":[{"_id":"5aabd8dc1fc6266e6f05ca98","_itemId":"5aab90291fc6266e6f05ca5c","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Carry on with the meeting."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":70,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8280745a2e2eda307722","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"What should Steve say?","_id":"5aab90291fc6266e6f05ca5c","body":"Steve asks some more questions and Holly does her best to answer them; she has to accept she has been under-performing, but is clearly struggling to explain why. Midway through a sentence, she stops, clearly distraught. Steve asks her what the matter is, she discloses that she went through a difficult divorce last year and since then she hasn't been able to focus properly on work. She was hoping that getting the promotion would give her a boost and enable her to work better.
","itemIndex":14,"_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":331,"x":4507},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aab90fd1fc6266e6f05ca60","_id":"5aab90f91fc6266e6f05ca5d","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":10,"optionText":"\"I'm so sorry to hear that Holly, it must be really hard. How can we help you through this?\""},{"_id":"5aab90fb1fc6266e6f05ca5e","_itemId":"5aab91041fc6266e6f05ca61","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":5,"optionText":"\"That must be tough, I understand what you are going through.\""},{"_itemId":"5aab91071fc6266e6f05ca62","_id":"5aab90fc1fc6266e6f05ca5f","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"\"Sorry to hear that, it must be difficult to deal with. So is that why you haven't been hitting your targets?\""}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":80,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":true,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65","_extension":"gif","_type":"image"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8294745a2e2eda307723","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"_id":"5aab90fd1fc6266e6f05ca60","body":"Holly's reaction: "I wasn't going to mention my divorce, but I realise that's what has been affecting my work. I suppose I just didn't want to see that. I'm glad Steve is offering support - I think that will help."
It is obvious that Holly's divorce has affected her performance at work, so Steve is taking the right approach in not mentioning it straight away - to do so would be clumsy management. His offer of support is the right thing to say, especially if HR are on hand to arrange that.
","itemIndex":15,"instruction":"","_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":157,"x":4842},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aeb6c1ede72f26ef7fc801d","_id":"5aabf6771fc6266e6f05caac","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Continue the meeting."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":80,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa82a3745a2e2eda307724","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","_id":"5aab91041fc6266e6f05ca61","body":"Holly's reaction: "I wasn't going to mention my divorce, but I realise that's what has been affecting my work. It's nice Steve has offered his sympathy, but I'm wondering if he thinks I'm weak for getting emotional."
It is obvious that Holly's divorce has affected her performance at work, so Steve is taking the right approach in not mentioning it straight away - to do so would be clumsy management. He should, however, have offered to organise help in whatever way she needs. This would have reassured her that she is not being blamed or seen as weak.
","itemIndex":16,"_editorColor":"#F1C40F","_editorPosition":{"y":326,"x":4840},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aeb6c1ede72f26ef7fc801d","_id":"5aabf7f41fc6266e6f05caaf","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Continue the meeting."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":80,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa82af745a2e2eda307725","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","_id":"5aab91071fc6266e6f05ca62","body":"Holly's reaction: "I so regret mentioning my divorce, I suppose I hoped he would be understanding. But Steve clearly thinks I shouldn't let it affect my work so much."
It is obvious that Holly's divorce has affected her performance at work, but Steve shouldn't have mentioned it straight away. This detracted from his genuine sympathetic response and made Holly think he only cares about her work, not her welfare. While this isn't the case, he should have been more sensitive to how she might react after disclosing something so personal.
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While it is a good idea to delay the meeting for a few days, to allow everyone time to prepare, leaving it until next Monday is a bit too long. It gives Holly a weekend in which she may brood over the perceived injustice and come in more upset.
The Section Head also feels a bit put out by him putting off the meeting until next week, after he requested he do it ASAP. He understands the situation is sensitive and Steve needs time to prepare, but feels he is avoiding dealing with it to some degree.
Branching item text
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You guided Steve through this difficult conversation really well! He's diffused a potentially volatile situation by careful handling of a tricky situation. He managed to support the promotion decision but also show understanding of Holly's position. Most importantly, Holly is getting the help she needs to get her work and life back on track. She is now much less likely to leave.
","_id":"5aabf2ad1fc6266e6f05caa9","_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":144,"x":6017},"_options":[],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":0,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab26e524bab067452d61a64"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa82f4745a2e2eda30772b","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":21,"body":"Room for improvement!
You made a reasonable attempt at guiding Steve through this difficult conversation, but it looks like you didn't always get it right. There were several situations where Steve made bad decisions which affected those involved, especially Holly. You might want to think about some of those situations. Many resignations are given from people who don't feel properly supported or respected at work.
","_id":"5aabf2b31fc6266e6f05caaa","_editorColor":"#F1C40F","_editorPosition":{"y":352,"x":6006},"_options":[],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":0,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa830e745a2e2eda30772d","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":22,"body":"Oh dear...not a great result!
This meeting was difficult for Steve and you didn't make the right choices to help him deal with it properly. You might want to think again about the situations he faced and how your decisions affected the way he came across. You should also consider how important saying the right thing at the right time is in difficult conversations. Remember that many resignations are given from people who don't feel properly supported or respected at work.
","_id":"5aabf2b61fc6266e6f05caab","_editorColor":"#E74C3C","_editorPosition":{"y":466,"x":5993},"_options":[],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":0,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa831a745a2e2eda30772e","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"itemIndex":23,"body":"Good job!
You guided Steve well through this difficult conversation! He made some good decisions that calmed matters when emotions were running high. There were a few instances where he made a bad choice, however, which resulted in the meeting not going so well. You might want to think again about important it is to deal carefully with these type of situations. Many resignations are given from people who don't feel properly supported or respected at work.
","_id":"5aabfcff1fc6266e6f05cab8","_editorColor":"#1abc9c","_editorPosition":{"y":250,"x":6012},"_options":[],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":0,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa8302745a2e2eda30772c","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","itemIndex":24,"body":"Holly's reaction: "Good, I'm glad Steve has agreed to meet tomorrow. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! I'm not happy with this decision and am considering looking for another job."
While Holly thinks this is the result she wants, it is actually the worst out of the three choices. Steve now hasn't got time to prepare properly, so he won't be aware of everything he should know. Holly is also clearly fired up by unjust treatment she believes she has received and will be entering the meeting ready to argue.
Steve should have responded to the pressure in a calmer manner, scheduling the meeting for Friday. This would have given everyone time to prepare, without putting it off too long.
Holly's reaction: "It's frustrating to have to wait all week for this, but at least I'll be able to give him a piece of my mind before the end of the week! I'm not happy with this decision and am considering looking for another job."
Steve has responded well to the pressure from both Holly and the Section Head. He shows empathy for Holly's need to meet soon, but has not had a knee-jerk reaction and scheduled the meeting for tomorrow. While Holly may have been happier with that, he wouldn't have had time to prepare properly and things could have got out of hand.
If, on the other hand, he had delayed it too long then Holly and the Section Head would have felt a bit disrespected. This Friday is the best choice, given his time constraints. It gives him time to prepare and Holly a few days to gather her thoughts and hopefully calm down a bit! He's demonstrated good decision-making and timing.
","_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":259,"x":672},"_options":[{"_id":"5aaba3061fc6266e6f05ca6f","_itemId":"5aaac21f1fc6266e6f05ca43","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Continue to set the meeting place."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":10,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa81cc745a2e2eda307712","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"_id":"5aeb6c1ede72f26ef7fc801d","instruction":"How should he tell her that he upholds the decision not to give her the promotion?","body":"The meeting continues without any further issues. Steve concludes it by saying he's happy Holly came to see him: he now understands why she hasn't been hitting her targets. He is concerned the issues that have arisen were not dealt with in performance management meetings and makes a note to talk to her Section Head about that. He asks HR to book in a meeting with Holly to discuss a support plan.
","itemIndex":26,"_editorColor":"#666666","_editorPosition":{"y":314,"x":5174},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aeb6e5bde72f26ef7fc801e","_id":"5aab90f91fc6266e6f05ca5d","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":10,"optionText":"\"After considering all the facts, I'm afraid I have to agree with the decision not to offer you the promotion. How about we focus now on getting you back on track and you can reapply in a few months?\""},{"_id":"5aab90fb1fc6266e6f05ca5e","_itemId":"5aeb6e62de72f26ef7fc801f","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":5,"optionText":"\"Holly I've decided to uphold the decision not to offer you the promotion - I accept you've been going through a difficult time, but you do need to hit those targets. I hope you understand?\""},{"_itemId":"5aeb6e6fde72f26ef7fc8020","_id":"5aab90fc1fc6266e6f05ca5f","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"\"Sorry Holly, in light of your recent poor performance I have decided to back the decision not to promote you. I hope you'll do better next time.\""}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":90,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":true,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65","_extension":"gif","_type":"image"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa82c5745a2e2eda307727","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Holly's reaction: "I can't disagree with Steve's decision as it's based on the facts. Saying I can apply again once things are going better makes me feel much more positive about my future here."
Steve has finished the meeting really well: he is honest about his decision and transparent about his reasons. By saying "'we will get you back on track" he makes Holly feel supported and part of a team. He ends on a real positive - looking to get her the promotion she desires.
","itemIndex":27,"instruction":"","_id":"5aeb6e5bde72f26ef7fc801e","_editorColor":"#2ECC71","_editorPosition":{"y":207,"x":5434},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aabf23e1fc6266e6f05caa4","_id":"5aabf6771fc6266e6f05caac","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Let's reflect."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":90,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"gif","_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa82d2745a2e2eda307728","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"_id":"5aeb6e62de72f26ef7fc801f","instruction":"","body":"Holly's reaction: "I accept Steve's decision and appreciate his understanding; I'm feeling a bit insecure about my future here though, after being rejected for promotion twice."
Steve needed to be honest about his decision and reasons, but he should have shown more sensitivity in the way he ended the meeting. It's good he suggests she can apply again later, but he could have reassured her that they will work together to help her do so. Holly is clearly feeling a bit vulnerable; if Steve had managed things a little better she would be leaving the meeting feeling better than when she came in.
","itemIndex":28,"_editorColor":"#F1C40F","_editorPosition":{"y":346,"x":5435},"_options":[{"_itemId":"5aabf23e1fc6266e6f05caa4","_id":"5aabf7f41fc6266e6f05caaf","_textColor":"transparent","_backgroundColor":"transparent","_shouldHideOption":false,"_automaticallySelectOnTimerEnd":false,"_scoreRequired":0,"_score":0,"optionText":"Let's reflect."}],"linkButtonText":"Link Button Text","_linkType":"none","_progressMilestonePercentage":90,"_isScoreItem":false,"_isCorrectItem":false,"_isInitialItem":false,"_timerDuration":20,"_hasTimer":false,"_shouldRandomiseOptions":false,"_itemLayout":"top","_hideOptionsUntilMediaEnd":false,"_canAutoPlay":false,"_youtube":{"_isLightTheme":false,"_isAllowFullscreen":true,"_isAutoHideControls":true,"_isShowClosedCaptions":false,"_isHD":true,"_isKeyboardDisabled":false,"_isLoop":false,"_isShowRelated":false},"_gif":{"src":{"_id":"5ab270cf4bab067452d61a65","_extension":"gif","_type":"image"}},"_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"}},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_id":"5cfa82dc745a2e2eda307729","_extension":"png","_type":"image"}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"instruction":"","body":"Holly's reaction: "I understand Steve's decision - it's true my performance hasn't been up to scratch. I feel he thinks I shouldn't have even applied for the promotion and am wasting everyone's time."
Steve's somewhat cold conclusion to the meeting is not the best way to end the conversation. He should have shown some appreciation of the reasons why she has been under-performing and repeated the offer of support. While he did do this earlier, the end of a meeting is important to get right, as it's what people will remember first.
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","instruction":"","_refId":"59aebaac0f090be73644f8ac","_classes":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"label":"Select the arrow below to continue.","icon":"arrow-right-circle"},"_incomplete":{"label":"Select the arrow below to continue.","icon":"arrow-right-circle"},"_location":"after instruction"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Text Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-11-12T09:58:27.310Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ed94aab5403215cedd","_component":"media","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ed94aab5403215cedc","__v":0,"instruction":"","_refId":"59afb42b0f090be73644f8b2","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","body":"If you've finished recording your ideas, listen to the advice Anna Daptor gives Derek to hear how it compares to yours.
","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":true},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_transcript":{"_shouldOpenTranscriptInPopup":false,"_shouldNotDisplayTitleInPopup":false,"button":"Transcript","body":"Anna Daptor: Welcome back, listeners. We’re still here with Derek, who wants some advice about a difficult conversation he has to have. He needs to talk to a team member about the bad feedback he's been getting about him. Derek is dreading this, he's worried it's all going to go pear-shaped! OK, Derek, let's start with what we want to achieve - I'm assuming you're happy with his work in general?
Derek: Yes, he's a good engineer and works hard. We also get on really well, which makes this even harder! I just want him to know about the stakeholders' concerns and ensure he'll hit his deadlines this time round.
Anna Daptor: Well, that all makes sense. The last thing you want is him missing deadlines again. That would also reflect badly on you as team leader. How do you think he'll react when you raise this?
Derek: Not very well! He was keen to lead on this project so is already a bit put out. I think he may get a bit annoyed.
Anna Daptor: OK, so there's clearly going to be a bit of bruised ego to deal with! Here's what you need to do. Firstly, setup a meeting to speak about this: don't just ambush him during a coffee break or at his desk. Then, in the meeting, you want him to feel at ease. Don't tell him straight away about the stakeholders' complaints, just ask him how things went last time he worked with them. Hopefully he'll say something to indicate all was not rosy. You can then use that to lead into talking about the deadlines.
Derek: That's a good idea! But I still think he'll be upset when I mention what they said.
Anna Daptor: That's true, and there's no way to avoid that. But what you can do is stay calm and simply state the facts. Make it clear that you really value his work and want him on the team. That may help repair his wounded pride at not making team leader! Also, there may be a reason he missed the deadlines. He'll be more likely to open up to you if he feels you're not judging him or want to get him off the project.
Derek: That makes sense. But what shall I say if he starts telling me about some personal issue that was to blame? How should I deal with that?
Anna Daptor: Good question! You're getting the hang of this now Derek - anticipating reactions - I'm impressed! Well, you know you're managing a difficult conversation well when the other person starts to open up and tell you things you didn't know. If they become closed and non-communicative that's not going to help find solutions. So you need to 'expect the unexpected.' There's no way you can plan for every eventuality, but you can be prepared to listen and empathise. You could try role playing the conversation with someone to get some practice for this part. Ask them to come up with a personal issue you need to then deal with.
Derek: That's great advice. I'll definitely use those tips. How do you think I should end the conversation?
Anna Daptor: With a solution! As you say, you want him on the team but you and the stakeholders need to be sure he's going to hit his deadlines. So say that. Depending on what he's disclosed, you could also offer him support of some kind. But be flexible on that - you don't want him feeling like you don't trust him to do the job.
Derek: Thanks Anna, I feel much better about this now!
Anna Daptor: No problem - take care and good luck with your difficult conversation!
"},"_audio":{"ariaLabel":"This button will play an audio description of the video","_buttonText":"AD","_isEnabled":false},"_media":{"_isExternalLink":false,"mp4":{"_type":"video","_extension":"mp4","_id":"5cfeaafc745a2e2eda3079f7"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false,"_shouldHidePlayerControls":false,"_shouldHidePlayButton":false},"_setCompletionOn":"play","_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"icon":"volume","label":"Select the play button to listen."},"_incomplete":{"label":"Select the play button to listen.","icon":"volume"},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Media - Anna's advice for Derek","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-05-25T15:21:52.859Z","_updatedBy":"599fe39e0f59f2cd39837a48"},{"_id":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cef4","_component":"links","_layout":"left","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cef3","__v":0,"_refId":"59afc21c0f090be73644f8c7","body":"This infographic is an engaging visual refresher identifying ten common mistakes people make when having difficult conversations. Use it as a handy reference guide when you need to refresh your memory before having such a conversation!
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A big part of being empathetic is reading the other person's non-verbal cues. Often a person's words may not be expressing what they truly feel, especially if they're distressed. Take note of their tone of voice, facial expressions and body language (more on this later in this section).
","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Try to suspend judgement while listening to what the other person is saying. This will allow you to focus properly on what they are saying before you react. When you do speak, be aware of their emotional state and choose your words accordingly. Showing them you are ready to listen without criticising will allow them to open up more about the issues at hand.
","title":"Don't judge immediately","itemIndex":1,"_id":"5ab5618663e99a24e1a97412","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Look at the issues from the other person's point of view, no matter how strange it is! This doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but it will help you to understand them better. Once they know you are trying to see things from their point of view they will also become less defensive.
","itemIndex":2,"_id":"5ab5618863e99a24e1a97414","title":"Change your perspective ","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Empathy depends on listening - not just hearing what they are saying but really understanding what they mean. Here are two ways you can demonstrate active listening.
Although objectivity is important when having difficult conversations, that doesn't mean ignoring emotions. Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging the emotions the other person is displaying, then probing into the causes in order to find possible solutions.
","title":"Acknowledge their feelings ","_id":"5ab5618963e99a24e1a97415","itemIndex":4,"_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"}],"_shouldShowCheckIcon":false,"_interactionLabel":{"_location":"before widget","_incomplete":{"icon":"finger-tap","label":"Click each tip below to find out more about improving your ability to empathise."},"_complete":{"label":"Take a look below at some pointers for improving your communication skills.","icon":"finger-tap"}},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Accordion Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2019-07-21T18:04:41.305Z","_updatedBy":"5a8be24000880853c41377f0"},{"_id":"5c8029ec94aab5403215ce77","_component":"narrative","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ec94aab5403215ce76","__v":0,"_refId":"59ae7c2f0f090be73644f87a","instruction":"","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_animations":{"_easing":"slow","_scaleIn":{"_from":0,"_isEnabled":false},"_fadeIn":{"_from":0,"_isEnabled":false},"_slideIn":true},"_canPulsate":true,"_items":[{"body":"While you can never know exactly how a difficult conversation will go, there are a number of ways you can prepare for one.
You can get a difficult conversation off to a good start by making sure everyone knows exactly what issues are being discussed. Whether you are raising the tricky subject or someone else has asked to speak to you about it, make sure the problem is clearly articulated early on.
It's equally important to make clear what impact the problem or behaviour is having. For example, don't just say "you've missed several deadlines," but add "and this is affecting our reputation with our partners."
This level of clarity keeps things fair and focused, and increases the likelihood of a good outcome.
Listening is essential in any conversation, but even more so in difficult ones. It's important not just to let the other person speak without interrupting, but to listen actively by:
It's easy for emotions to run high when having difficult conversations, taking things down an unwanted path. You can stop that from happening by:
Agreeing on the next steps","itemIndex":4,"_id":"59ae7cfa0f090be73644f87e","body":"
Difficult conversations can be complicated and it's easy to get stuck discussing issues, blame or justification.
To move things forwards, keep these conversations solutions-focused by asking questions such as "What can we do to solve this problem?" or "What could we try next time to avoid this?" Talking about 'we' rather than 'you' makes the question seem more collaborative and avoids blame.
Make sure to ask the other person for input into any plan of action, so that the next steps are agreed with them, not imposed on them.
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These type of questions are open-ended and in turn open up the conversation by inviting longer answers. They help you find out more about the other person. Examples of these are, "How do you feel about that?" and "Why are you frustrated by this?"
Closed questions generally require simple yes/no answers. They may sometimes be useful to establish facts, but should generally be avoided as they can shut a conversation down.
","_id":"57822ea741b6a53e2f346867","itemIndex":0,"title":"","_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5cac629fe4d12172a7412be7"}}},{"title":"","text":"Do use probing questions to find out more
Probing can be really useful in a difficult conversation when you need to uncover what's happened or why. For example, when the other person might be reluctant to share all the information or may not be aware of how things connect.
When used well, probing questions can help you draw out the relevant information before making decisions. They focus in on what you need to know, for example, "Can you tell me more about that?" or "Why was that?"
","_id":"57822eaa41b6a53e2f346869","itemIndex":1,"_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5cac6332e4d12172a7412bec"}}},{"title":"","text":"Do ask reflective questions
These questions will make the other person think more deeply about their actions, which they may not have done before. Examples are, "What was it that made you feel angry about that?" and "Do you feel that was an appropriate response?"
Don't ask judgemental questions
Often the questions we ask reveal a lot about what we feel or think. It's important to avoid questions that imply judgement or condemnation. An example of a judgemental question would be, "Why didn't you achieve that target?". It would be better to say something like "How have you been getting on with your targets?"
","itemIndex":3,"_id":"57822eaf41b6a53e2f34686a","title":"","_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5cac62c4e4d12172a7412bea"}}},{"title":"","text":"Don't use leading questions
It can be tempting to ask leading questions, like "Are you saying that..?" or "Isn't it obvious that...?" This type of questioning should definitely be avoided as it risks putting words into the other person's mouth. They may then feel they have been trapped into saying or admitting something they aren't comfortable with. Try to stick to the more open questions highlighted earlier. That will allow the other person to answer as they want, rather than as you'd like.
","itemIndex":4,"_id":"57822ea841b6a53e2f346868","_shouldSetCompletion":false,"_revealGraphicLayout":"top","_revealGraphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphic":{"caption":"","srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5cac62cce4d12172a7412beb"}}}],"_shouldDisableItemTitles":false,"_shouldCenterCaption":false,"_shouldDisplayCaptionOverGraphic":false,"_shouldShowMarking":false,"_isExploratoryQuestion":false,"_interactionLabel":{"_location":"before widget","_incomplete":{"label":"Select each icon for some questioning dos and don'ts.","icon":"finger-tap"},"_complete":{"icon":"finger-tap","label":"Select each icon for some questioning dos and don'ts."}},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Skill 3 Questioning","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-01-22T13:49:55.200Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cefd","_component":"graphic","_layout":"left","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ee94aab5403215cefb","__v":0,"_refId":"59afc2d80f090be73644f8d2","_classes":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_graphicTextStyles":{"_mobile":{"_fontColor":"transparent"},"_tablet":{"_fontColor":"transparent"},"_desktop":{"_fontColor":"transparent"}},"_graphic":{"_isExternalLink":false,"src":{"_type":"image","_extension":"png","_id":"5d31972d0b2f6265fec771b1"},"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false},"small":{"_id":"569f9dbe2d28673b4fec0d1e","_extension":"jpeg","_type":"image","_size":"small"},"_isLightboxEnabled":false,"lightboxSrcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_graphicTextRightPadding":0,"_graphicTextLeftPadding":0,"_graphicTextBottomPadding":0,"_graphicTextTopPadding":0,"_contentWidth":100,"layout":"top","_shouldEnableGraphicText":false,"_interactionLabel":{"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":false,"title":"Graphic Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2019-07-19T10:11:21.307Z","_updatedBy":"5cecd9fc745a2e2eda3067f3"},{"_id":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce6c","_component":"accordion","_layout":"left","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce6b","__v":0,"_refId":"59ad6c6a0f090be73644f871","instruction":"","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","body":"A summary of the key points in this section is provided below.
","displayTitle":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_items":[{"title":"A definition of difficult conversations","_id":"59ad6ca60f090be73644f872","itemIndex":0,"body":"Difficult conversations involve sensitive topics and often arouse strong emotions. People generally feel they have a lot at stake in these situations and are worried about the consequences.
","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"We're often daunted by the prospect of having a difficult conversation. Preparing well can help with this. As you become familiar with the facts, you'll be able to predict potential outcomes. You'll then feel more secure about your ability to deal with whatever happens.
","itemIndex":1,"_id":"59ad6cbe0f090be73644f873","title":"Preparation is key","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"title":"
Reaching solutions","_id":"59ad6cc50f090be73644f874","itemIndex":2,"body":"
It's important to find solutions to the problems discussed. Have clear goals in mind, but make sure the other person is included in drawing up solutions. They are more likely to stick to agreements if they're feeling empowered, rather than dictated to.
","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"},{"body":"Emotions often run high during difficult conversations; their success depends on staying calm and basing decisions on evidence and facts. You'll get tips on how to do this in the next sections.
","itemIndex":3,"_id":"59ad6ccb0f090be73644f875","title":"Facts not emotions","_itemGraphicLayout":"right","_video":{"_transcript":{"button":"Open transcript"},"_shouldAutoPlay":false},"_graphic":{"srcAdvanced":{"_setImagePerDeviceSize":false}},"_mediaType":"image"}],"_shouldShowCheckIcon":false,"_interactionLabel":{"_complete":{"label":"Select each label for a recap.","icon":"finger-tap"},"_incomplete":{"icon":"finger-tap","label":"Select each label for a recap."},"_location":"before widget"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":true,"title":"Accordion Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2020-01-22T13:45:58.915Z","_updatedBy":"59a95b0c0f59f2cd39837af7"},{"_id":"5c8029ee94aab5403215ceef","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ee94aab5403215ceee","_layout":"left","_component":"text","__v":0,"body":"
The resources available to you are:
Each resource can be downloaded as a customisable Word document or as a PDF.
","displayTitle":"","_refId":"5783d12541b6a53e2f346918","_classes":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_interactionLabel":{"_location":"before body"},"_isInteractionLabelEnabled":false,"_displayTitleSettings":{"_fontSize":"18"},"title":"Text Title","_isQuestionType":false,"_type":"component","_updatedAt":"2019-07-21T18:07:14.592Z","_updatedBy":"5a8be24000880853c41377f0"},{"_id":"5c8029ed94aab5403215cebe","_component":"confidenceSlider","_layout":"full","_courseId":"5c8029eb94aab5403215ce4d","_parentId":"5c8029ed94aab5403215cebd","__v":0,"instruction":"How confident do you feel about your own questioning skills?","_refId":"59aeabab0f090be73644f89f","_classes":"","ariaLabel":"","_tags":{"_tagsList":[],"_isEnabled":false},"_stamps":{"_isEnabled":false},"_search":{"_searchTagIds":[]},"_reflection":{"_isEnabled":false},"_progress":{"_isEnabled":true},"_hint":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAttainment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_courseAssessment":{"_isEnabled":false},"_assignment":{"feedback":"","_isCorrect":false,"_isMarked":false,"_isEnabled":false},"_badges":{"_badgeIds":[]},"_points":{"_isEnabled":false},"_stars":{"_isEnabled":false},"_feedbackItems":[{"_id":"59aea3ad0f090be73644f896","itemIndex":0,"feedback":"If effective questioning is not something you feel confident in right now, try using the suggested techniques in a role play with a colleague. Ask them to feedback specifically on your use of questioning.
","_range":{"_max":3,"_min":0}},{"feedback":"That's a good start - keep practising the techniques discussed to boost your confidence further. It may help to role play with a colleague and get their feedback.
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