Mezirow (1998) described reflection as an essential process to critically assess issues without evident solutions. However, one of the first to distinguish between the two types of reflection was Schön (1987), who considered the capability to reflect to be a hallmark of any professional. The first is reflection-on-action, which he theorised was where people made the most progress. This is opposed to the second, reflection-in-action, where the individual reflects and thinks while carrying out the action which he believed was the most successful way (Greenwood, 1993).
The Gibbs Reflective Cycle (1988) has a more in-depth system that is more suitable to implement within the counselling profession. Specifically, it outlines six stages: describe, feelings, evaluate, analysis, conclusion and action plan. This framework enables an individual to gain a better understanding of an event and plan how to deal with a similar situation in the future (Taylor, 2020).
I will be using the counselling session recorded on the 12th of December 2022 for this reflective commentary. To critique my counselling skills, I will implement the Gibbs Reflective Cycle (1988) as it shows the strengths and limitations of my skills. In addition, using an action plan can further my skills as a counsellor overall (Markkanen et al., 2020).
Before beginning the session, I ensured the client had a calm and positive environment to explore whatever they wanted to talk about in that session. I did this by providing a clean room and creating a positive atmosphere. Throughout all sessions, I would display SOLER and mirror the client's body language to make the client feel more comfortable and show that I am present. I would also begin the session with a recap of the contract we had made and remind them that the session would be recorded (Stickley, 2011; Sanders & Lehmann, 2018). 
The counselling contract is vital as it confirms that the counselling process will be conducted safely and professionally. It also emphasises the counsellor's and the client's responsibilities towards each other. Furthermore, a counselling contract is a transparent foundation for informed consent and recording the session requires permission from the client (BACP, 2018).
Implementing Carl Rogers Core Conditions (1957) throughout the sessions enabled me to build relational depth. This was created through the use of Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) and congruence. Having displayed genuineness of the UPR alongside empathy encouraged the client to feel safe and comfortable enough to explore their issues and feelings out loud. As a result, there were no awkward silences throughout the session, and we were clearly relaxed from the beginning.
I had created a strong enough rapport with the client to begin the session by asking how they were. This gave the client a cue to explain what brought them into that session, which was the same issues are previous sessions. This can be seen at 1:13, where the client says, "I am not the issue", but then quickly turns to ask if there was "something wrong with [them]", which is repeated at 1:42 and 1:56. This was the common theme throughout the session. The feelings that the client exhibited were negative throughout the session. The client used the words "jealous", "hurtful", and "tension" frequently. I should have picked up on the word "tension", but I was too focused on trying to open the client to different perspectives of the issue.
Although the client felt like an "outsider", they understood that they might not be the issue because members of the client's partner's family also felt like "outsiders". At 6:55, the client said, "every family is different," leading to cultural competency at 8:12 when the client pondered whether it was due to the "different cultures" and upbringing of both parties' parents. I found the client would come to their own decision regarding the issue and how they felt about it by saying precisely what was on their mind. The client being comfortable enough to do this showed relational depth. For example, at 16:05, the client says "this is who I am and this is what I am", which led to further exploring into their feelings about the situation (Tummala-Narra, 2015).
I shifted the conversation at 9:30 to the root of the issue and challenged the client on how they would feel if they were rejected by their mother-in-law and, therefore, could not have a good relationship with them. The client admitted they would "feel sad" but then, at 19:05, concluded that "not everything in life is meant to work". I tried to "walk with the client" and show them that the issue was not about them, particularly when the client mentioned the family dynamic as being "strange". I did this by reminding the client that they had expressed that other family members also felt like "outsiders".
At 10:50, the client revealed how the anxiety of these issues had had a physical impact, explaining how this had caused panic attacks. I realised that immediately talking about it could have an adverse effect, so I instead spoke about how, in previous sessions, journalling had helped them. However, at 12:41, I put into perspective how this issue needed to be resolved because it was affecting their life mentally and physically in a negative manner.
When coming to the end of the session, I found that the client's demeanour had changed to be slightly more optimistic. For example, at 21:08, the client referred to themselves as being "more than enough". This is in contrast to the beginning of the session, where the client questioned if they were the problem and how they should change to appease the mother-in-law. At 21:15, I asked the client how they felt and where they felt it in their body. In previous sessions, the client would feel anxiety in their chest and stomach. In this session, at 21:17, the client expressed they felt "a weight lifted off [their] shoulders" and that they "can breathe now". Finally, at 21:36, the client clarified how it felt like a "breath of fresh air going through [their] whole body". I responded at 21:58 by saying how it was the most positive the client had been about the situation.
When ending the session, I wanted to be consistent and preserve the trust we had built. I did this by reiterating and reassuring the client that the time we had scheduled was for them and their feelings. Consistently ending the sessions like this ensured the client understood it was a safe space to explore any issues they wanted to bring to that space and that I was there for them as a counsellor.
Looking through the video, a lot of the session was a mix of reflection-in-action and reflection-on-action. The client was bringing in new information, which came with mixed emotions. Using information from previous sessions allowed me to gauge what would be best to convey back to the client. It was constructive as it enabled the client and me to compare what the client had felt before to how the client felt now.
Using the Gibbs Reflective Cycle (1988) has allowed me to identify the limitations I displayed during the session but also that my strengths varied (Li et al., 2020).
One important strength was creating a nurturing and warm environment. This was demonstrated by the client remaining visibly calm and open throughout the session. The client voiced their feelings and issues out loud, demonstrating a sound rapport and a good foundation of trust was established. In addition, I maintained eye contact and displayed active listening skills through minimal encouragers throughout the session, alongside positive body language (Jones, 2020).
Maintaining this environment helped create relational depth and led to the client feeling safe enough to further delve into their feelings and voice what they thought they could do to resolve their issue. Throughout the sessions, I found that creating relational depth and "sensitive challenging" helped to find the root of the issue by seeing it from different perspectives. This resulted in the client understanding their issue further.
A limitation I noted was my timekeeping and the pace of the session as I was over the twenty-minute session, and even when I said we only had a few minutes to do a final summary, it was too late in the session. I should have started the final summary five minutes before the end of the session. Because of the time, I had to rush the session, which the client could have picked up on and felt I was interrupting their thoughts. The client should feel relaxed and calm throughout, especially at the end, as again, the client should not leave the session in a worse condition than when they came in (BACP, 2018). To mitigate this in the future, I will ensure a clock is set where I can see clearly behind the client and begin the final summary five minutes before ending the session.
Another limitation that I need to work on is listening out for specific words and the feeling behind them. Not identifying and responding to emotionally charged words could be detrimental towards the client. In this session, picking up on the word "tension" could have opened up another avenue for the client to explore their feelings behind this word with regard to the issue. In future, once I have picked up on these specific words, I should bring them into the session in a sensitive manner for the client to explore the word and also the meaning behind them.
I noticed that I interrupted the client, so the silence was too short at 19:28, which could have stopped the conversation's flow and the focus on the client. To mitigate this limitation in future, it would be beneficial for me to practice silence and stop trying to pre-emptively give advice.
Even though I was reiterating to the client that it would be their decision, I was giving advice again at 11:47 when I said the client should write down their feelings and then reflect on them. I also suggested that the client write a letter to the mother-in-law explaining all their feelings towards the situation to try and resolve the issue. However, I did this because previously, when the client started to journal, it helped calm the client's nerves and reflect on what they felt at that time. Especially as journalling has been established to alleviate mental stress and increase well-being (Smyth et al., 2018).
A strength I displayed when ending the session was letting the client know that this space was for their thoughts and to explore whatever they decided to bring into the session. I also found it vital that they are thanked for coming in and sharing their issues with me. The camera did cut out, unfortunately, but it has been something I do for each session to show a genuine interest in their well-being and reiterate that their feelings are valid and that it is a safe space for the client (Fortin et al., 2021).
It is crucial to comprehend that there is no one way to create relational depth, as every client differs in how they think, react, and reflect. Because of this, therapy should be adapted to benefit the client. This is why I found the best way to develop relational depth with this specific client was to relate to the previous sessions and compare the feelings or thoughts the client had in the past to their current thoughts and feelings. Paraphrasing and summarising again shows the client I am listening and giving my full attention to the client. I specifically ask the client to "correct me if I am wrong", enabling the client to ensure I fully understood them and, if not, granting the client the option to correct me without fear of judgment or rejection. This way, the counsellor can mirror what the client has said rather than tell the client what they think they said and how the client should feel. This is incredibly important, as if the counsellor takes advantage of this trust and distorts the summary, it can have a detrimental effect on the client and break the trust. This opposes a counsellor's primary responsibility to ensure the client does not leave in a worse condition than they came into the session (Stonehouse, 2011).