WEBVTT

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When I
first started working at the university,

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I was actually really happy
and excited to work here.

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But that didn't last for long.

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Within the first six months
of working here,

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I was considering leaving,
and I've only stayed this long

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because of perseverance,
not because of actual desire to stay.

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Within the first two weeks,
I had a meeting with my manager

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about what kind of opportunities
I can get involved in for BAME students.

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And my manager was quick to respond
that the problem is

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that BAME students that come
to this university usually come with BTECs

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and that the staff usually have meetings

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on how to teach them
how to behave while living on campus.

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And as the only BAME
member of staff on the team at the time

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and the fact that I came to university
with BTECs as well,

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I couldn't help
but feel like this was aimed at me.

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How could it not be?

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And I didn't really know how to address it
at the time.

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I was wondering if I should call it out
or if I should challenge her and ask

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if she actually has the facts on
how many BAME students come to university

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with BTECs
or if that was just ignorant stereotype,

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or if I should question her on

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why it is a problem
to have BTECs in university

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and educate her on how much these students
would have been oppressed

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and been discriminated

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against through their younger lives,
and how much harder

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it would have been for them to get into
university than their white counterparts.

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All of this was running through my head,
but I did what most black people would do

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if they were in the situation with their white manager,

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who was already clearly discriminating.

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And I stayed silent
and internalised it all.

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I later cried to my friends and family
about the injustices

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and I realised that I was never going
to progress in this institution

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and I was going to face the same obstacles
that I faced in university

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because I was black and I had BTECs.